Winry's New Automail Designs
by iTorchic
Summary: Winry has gotten ahold of some new designs for Edward's automail and they go from useful to epic to downright strange. Things are going to get crazier, that's for sure! Semi-crack. Similar to my story '333 Ways to Get Kicked out of HQ'. I hope you enjoy!
1. 1 through 3

**Say hello to another random crack fic I'm starting! XD I just can't help myself with these but I know you'll all enjoy at least a few of these! XD**

**So, hopefully Edward will survive all of this random crap thanks to Winry and I came up with this while chugging soda. So, here's to you caffeine highs as I write yet another crack fic!**

**Note: Each new thing is after Edward goes back to get repairs by Winry. He just screws up his arm that much. XD**

It was automail tune up time for Edward Elric and this time he wasn't particularly excited about it. Especially due to the fact that his mechanic had gotten hold of new blueprints.

"Come on Edward! You'll be the first one with this stuff!"

"Just fix my arm!"

"Fine you jerk!!!! _Alchemy geek_…."

He did not expect however to be a guinea pig.

"Okay Edward, if you ever are falling, or get stuck in water, or anything like that then press _this_ button."

"Why _that _button?"

"JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY ALRIGHT?!"

And the automail testing commenced

**1. Floatation device**

"Boss, what's the new button on the automail?"

"No clue, Winry put it on."

"Well, let's try it!"

"Breda, I don't think you should……"

WHOOSH!

"Your arm just deployed an inflatable raft."

"This thing is huge! It takes up nearly half the room!"

"Morning………….why the hell is there a floatation raft in my office?"

**2. Car Alarm**

Edward only bumped his right arm into Mustang when sirens started wailing………from his arm.

"_PLEASE BACK AWAY FROM THE ALCHEMY SHRIMP. PLEASE BACK AWAY FROM THE ALCHEMY SHRIMP. PLEASE BACK AWAY FROM THE ALCHEMY SHRIMP PLEA-"_

"PLEASE MAKE THIS FUCKING THING SHUT UP!!!"

"I don't know Fullmetal, this is good advertisement for you."

"SHUT UP!"

**3. Bubble Wand**

"Oh crap, she installed another button."

-pokes button-

"Bubbles?"

"Yay! Bubbles!"

"Al, come on! A 6 ft tall suit of armor shouldn't go skipping down a road with a kitten and chasing after bubbles! It's not manly at all!!!"

"Neither is you with your long braided golden hair and you blowing the bubbles in the first place!!!!!!!!"

"SHUT UP AL!"

**More randomness to come……..**


	2. 4 through 6

**I'm back people! =D Glad you all like this! So, now I would like to say one thing to all of my readers out there…………..I LOVE YOU ALL! For the first time yesterday, my reader count for yesterday alone was over 1000 registered users!!!!! =D I feel epic and it's all thanks to you guys so that means for the next two hours I'm going to try and update all I can (without it being crappy) as a thank you to everyone! =D**

**So now, let the randomness continue in a mechanical and maniacal fashion =3D**

**4. Tracking device**

Edward always got pissed off when Mustang would know exactly where he was at all times but there was a simple explanation. Winry added a tracking device and gave the remote to Colonel Mustang for safekeeping. The Colonel, however, just wants to see how much he can piss the shrimp off.

**5. Storage compartment**

"Brother, what are you doing with your arm?"

"Nothing…………"

"Is that soup in your arm? Winry's going to kill you!!!"

"Nuh uh! She added in a food compartment in my arm!"

"For DRY foods brother."

.

.

"Shit."

**6. Fridge**

"Brother, please don't tell me you put something else in your automail."

"This time I won't mess it up Al! See?"

"Your leg holds sodas?"

"Where else am I going to keep it? My arm?"

"Ugh."

**I just felt the tracking device one was necessary! XD**


	3. 7 though 9

_Guess who's back. Back again. Torchic's back. Tell a friend._

_Sorry, random moment from a song my friends sing. XDDD And now I shall continue the randomness_

_**7. Toaster**_

"_So Fullmetal, you'll have to go-"_

_DING_

"_What the hell?"_

"_HA! Wow Colonel, I didn't know you could fall out of your chair like that!"_

"_What the hell was that?"_

"_My lunch." He promptly lifted his arm to show the two pieces of toast sticking out, slightly steaming, "Do you have any butter?"_

_**8. Blender**_

"_So, you have a toaster in your arm?"_

"_Well how else would you explain two pieces of heated bread coming of my arm?" Edward pulled out a bag and pulled his left pants leg up. He pulled various fruits out of the bag and lifted a plate on his automail in his leg and stuffed the food in before closing the lid and pressing a button. There was a slight buzzing._

"_Fullmetal……..what are you doing_?"

"Making a smoothie. Do you think I could eat my toast without a fruity beverage?"

"………."

**9. Grill**

"Are you done with your lunch yet Fullmetal?"

"Nope." He said with a grin, "Still need to finish the steaks."

"_Steaks_?"

"Yeah. They've been cooking for about an hour now. I think they should be done." He opened another compartment in his arm and two medium rare steaks popped out and Edward put them on a plate. "So, you were giving me another pointless mission so continue. Unless you have a lead for me………"

"Are you bribing me with a steak for a lead?"

"And a smoothie!"

"Fine. There's one up north now just give me a plate and the steak and my smoothie Fullmetal. Since when did you become a kitchen appliance?"

**Sorry, wanted to get the food ones done together and it's like a little mini story how they're all intertwined. Winry would be a genius if she actually put these in his automail. XDDD**


	4. 10 through 12

**Hey guys! =D So, ready for more updates? I plan on putting up two updates of this story and hopefully two updates for 333 ways as well! =D I got over a thousand views again yesterday and I'm going to try and keep on my game and keep updating for you all! Thanks for all of the awesome reviews!**

**Also, today I also discovered that the spork is the Lady Gaga of eating utensils**

**10. Teleporter**

It was surprisingly quiet in Mustang's office for once when a large beam of light appeared in front of Mustang's desk. Everyone was wary, Hawkeye drawing her gun and Mustang pulling on his gloves, when a figure stepped out.

"Here's your report Colonel. And I'M NOT SHORT DAMMIT!" The short figure stepped back into the light and pressed a button on his arm and he and the light were gone.

"Was that Fullmetal?"

"I think so.."

"I'm going home. I'm hallucinating about shrimps coming into my office."

**11. Lightsaber**

Winry never thought she would see Edward this excited about her automail. He took off as soon as it was installed and he didn't break it for over a year. However, when Scar destroyed his automail he was devastated when she lost the blueprints.

"NOOOO!"

"Edward, search your feelings. You know it to be true."

**12. Slow Motion Machine**

Edward and Alphonse were in the gym training when they accidentally pressed the button, turning it on without them knowing. The two fought in slow motion and drew a large crowd, one of whom brought a boom box and played dramatic music.

**I wish number 12 would actually happen =( **


	5. 13 through 15

**I'm back! =D Yay for over 3 thousand views in 4 days! =D**

**13. Time Machine**

"Hey Colonel, we have a bit of a problem."

"What is it now Fullmetal?" He looked up and paled.

"Why……are there two Fullmetals in front of me?"

"Eh, apparently Winry attached a time machine to his arm in the future." The younger Ed said and the older one, sporting a beard, nodded.

"How am I supposed to help?"

"You're my superior officer! You're supposed to take care of all this weird stuff!" The young blonde said and the older one sighed,

"He's even more of an ass in the future."

"Awwwww man! I have to deal with him then too?"

"Yep. Not fun."

"_I'm still here you know_!"

**14. Flare**

Edward didn't know what he was messing with when he set it off in the office. Mustang soon had a bald spot and a rising temper.

**15. Fire Extinguisher**

"I knew this would be handy!"

"Fullmetal……"

"What? I saved the rest of your hair from burning and your face looks good with foam!"

**More shall come tonight!**


	6. 16 through 18

**Update 2 is now complete! **

**16. iPod**

"Brother, what's that in your ears?"

"What?"

"What are those things in your ears?"

"Wait a minute Al, let me take out my headphones……okay! What were you saying?"

"I was asking what those things were in your ears."

"Oh they're my headphones. I'm listening to music.""From where?"

"Automail. Winry's making some really good models lately."

**17. Megaphone**

"That mechanic of Fullmetal has to be insane to put a megaphone in the shrimp's automail."

"_WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE CAN'T BE HEARD BECAUSE HE'S SO DAMN TINY?"_

"That just proves my point. You would be able to hear him in Xing."

-meanwhile in Xing-

"Hey Ran-fan, did you just hear an explosion?"

"No Master Ling. Please prince, you must stop eating so much shrimp. It's bad for your health."

"Fine, but somehow it feels like this is just some sort of ironic situation….."

**18. Laser pointer**

The alchemist kept himself amused for a few hours when he was trapped in the office and forced to be quiet. Thanks to Black Hayate and his trusty laser pointer, the dog had knocked over the Colonel's large stack of paperwork that he now had to do all over again.

**I love these XD**


	7. 19 through 21

**Hi people! I'm back for more! Also, YOU GUYS KNOW ME TOO WELL! YOU KEEP NAMING ALL OF MY FUTURE STUFF! GAAAHHH! DANG PSYCHIC REVIEWERS! -sulk-**

**19. Chainsaw**

The day Edward figured out how to use it was known as 'Central Chainsaw Massacre' and the story would live on for years afterwards and Winry immediately took away his chainsaw privileges after seeing the damage done to Mustang.

**20. Wrecking Ball**

"I'm starting to wonder why I install these on Edward anymore…." Pinako overhead as she walked by Winry's room after the girl had just finished talking to Edward on the phone.

**21. Milk Dispenser**

"HAHA WINRY! _VERY FUNNY_!"

"I think it's funny Brother!"

"……………I need to get that chainsaw back."

**Winry really should wonder why she gives Edward even MORE ways to cause destruction!**


	8. 22 through 24

**Sorry for the late update guys! Hope you guys like these!**

**22. Air Freshener**

With Ed unable to take regular showers that often, he silently thanked Winry a thousand times for the godsend. However, he would never admit it to Al or anyone else.

"Brother, did Winry install something new in your automail?"

"No! But I wish I had that chainsaw back, it was cool!"

"Was it cool when you got lectured multiple times by Colonel Mustang, Hughes, Maria Ross, Pinako, and Winry?"

"It was well worth it to see Mustang's hair like that and his uniform ripped to shreds! It'll take him months to get his hair to grow back!"

"Brother…."

**23. Censor**

It was when Edward stubbed his flesh toe at the Rockbells and unleashed his vast knowledge of international curses while Winry walked into the room. Thanks to a database of all swear words known to man now installed in his automail, he was now restricted from his colorful word choice.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEP

"Fullmetal, what the h-"

"NO! DON'T SWEAR!"

"What is your problem Fullmetal?"

"Whenever it hears ANY curse it shrieks! It never stops!"

"What hears?"

"The freak'n censor in my arm Winry put in! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!"

Edward and most of Amestris cleaned up their word choice after a few months of the wailing. However, karma returned to Winry when she accidentally swore in Edward's presence.

"Don't think it's funny now do ya?"

"Shut up Edward and give me your arm and the chainsaw."

"Heheheheh…"

**24. Coffee maker**

During the snowy winter in Central, the power went down in HQ and it was bone chilling in the building. Luckily Edward entered Mustang's office with his new feature in his automail.

"COFFEE! THE LIQUID OF THE GODS!"

They were, to put it simply, happy for the warm drinks and Mustang did not utter a height comment for a few months.

**Hope you guys liked those! =D**


	9. 25 through 27

**Hi guys! I'm back! =D**

**25. Tazer**

Winry thought it would be good for stopping criminals when they were trying to get away while being arrested.

Edward thought it would be great for pranks and for people who pissed him off.

After a week of his new gadget, Winry found out Ed's motives for it.

And Edward got a taste of his own medicine.

He was fried for a week, due to the fact that Winry forgot about his metal appendages not agreeing with electricity

**26. Magnet**

Edward forgot Winry's birthday and in retaliation, she installed magnets in both his arm and leg. He ended up being stuck to Alphonse's back, unable to get down, and various metal objects stuck to his metal limbs.

Luckily, Hughes managed to get a photo without being slaughtered by the immobile living magnet.

**27. Flamethrower**

In another challenge of Fullmetal vs. Flame, Fullmetal had gotten a fire upgrade. Both of their eyebrows and patches of their hair did not regrow for a few months at least

**I love messing with Ed. XD**


	10. 28 through 30

**It's update day! =D**

**28. Boom box**

"Fullmetal, what are you doing?"

"Playing music? Why?"

"Is…that coming from your arm?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Is there anything else you could add to your automail that is utterly random?"

**29. Disco Ball**

"Does that answer your previous question?"

**30. Earplugs**

"Can't you turn that music off?"

"Can't figure out how to Mustang. I think I broke it during my last fight and it won't stop playing. However Winry did provide me with something useful in case this happened." He opened a small compartment in his arm and pulled out two sets of earplugs.

Mustang kept them for later on for when Edward would launch into another short rant

**I'm thinking I should combine the ideas a bit for a new situation each chapter…. Please review!**


	11. 31 through 33

**Hey everyone! I know I should update this more because it's easy to write in a bout like, 5 minutes or so, but I forget! XD **

**Well, here is the next set! =D It's about personal hygiene! **

**31. Hairspray**

Alphonse always wondered how Edward always got his little antenna to stay upright all the time no matter what they did. He asked the people at HQ about what they thought and no one could figure it out, until Alphonse accidentally walked on his brother when he was getting ready in the morning.

"Brother, you use hairspray?"

"Shut it Al."

"So that's how you get it to stay up! Now I can tell the others about how you got it like that!"

"Wait: what others?"

"The people at headquarters, brother. We were all wondering how you got it to stay up like that."

"Oh HELL NO. You are not going to tell them anything!"

"But Brother, I promised them that I would tell them when I figured it out! Then I can also get my money!"

"Money? Were you all betting on how I got it to stay up?"

"Well….."

Alphonse ended up keeping his promise, earned about 300 sens, and Edward was egged on by Mustang who eventually got his hair messed up and sprayed with hairspray.

**32. Mirror**

This installation was also discovered by Alphonse when he found out about the hairspray. Edward argued that the places that they traveled didn't always have mirrors and that Winry insisted on putting it in his automail.

Alphonse actually thought that Edward actually cared more about his looks than he let on, especially due to the fact that he found his brother with the mirror frantically fixing his hair or something to that extent when they were on the train to Risembool.

**33. Razor**

This tool came in handy when traveling, due to the fact that even Edward Elric had to endure puberty. When he regained his arm, Winry simply put the razor in a small compartment in his leg.

That action proved to be very beneficial years later when Edward, Winry, and their children took a train to visit everyone in Central and they found that Roy had grown a caterpillar on his upper lip. It was obvious that everyone in his office was unnerved by the facial hair, while the Lieutenant General had no clue about his subordinates' opinions.

When Riza learned of the razor, there was an unofficial mission to destroy the ridiculous hair on Roy's upper lip while the man was taking a nap. Roy was confused by Riza's allowance of a nap, but took it anyway and the plot ensued.

An hour later, they found Mustang sulking at his desk while small bits of tissue paper covered spots on his otherwise clean upper lip.

**I just had to do something about the moustache. XD I could not resist at all! XDDDD**


	12. 34 through 36

**This set was inspired by my insane friend, Rikahime because she is an avid world cup fan, although I am regrettably not. Although: YAY SPAIN. **

**34. T-shirt Cannon**

Things became relatively quiet when the countries agreed to meet for a game of sports, a new popular game called soccer. It was going to be held in Central since King Bradley decided to invite the other rulers to Amestris for two weeks of peacefulness between sports.

Television, which was starting to become popular after being newly invented, was going to be showing the matches and it was becoming very popular among the citizens.

Edward, however, decided to have some non explosive fun.

With a new adaptation to his automail that Winry added, his arm was now ready for spirit by firing Team Amestris t-shirts.

**35. Beer Tap**

This one, was of Havoc's own devising. He fiddled with the automail arm when Edward fell asleep in the office.

Hawkeye had a day off, so the men managed to get a TV into the office and a keg. After that, well… Edward was stuck with a room full of drunk officers and he was literally stuck to the keg.

"I swear to drunk… I'm not god!" Mustang declared and Edward rolled his eyes. This was going to be a long day…

**36. Horn**

He got to go to a game, got bored. Introduced a new way of cheering to soccer fans everywhere.


	13. 37 through 39

**I'm back! =D**

**37. Nerf Gun**

When Riza told Edward that he needed to have something to protect himself with, like a gun, and Edward told Winry. When he returned to Central, he had new equipment.

"THAT'S IT! I AM NOT SHORT!"

"Wha? Fullmetal? When the hell did you get a gun?"

BANG

"…You have a foam dart gun….."

"SHUT UP AND DIE!"

BANG BANG BANG

**38. Paper Shredder**

Roy never appreciated Edward's company so much before. He ended up giving Ed a raise and they actually got along…until Riza found out and send Edward home to Risembool with a note to Winry.

**39. Watch**

"Isn't this kind of redundant since you already have your pocket watch?"

"I don't know what the hell Winry was thinking when she was installing this to my automail, but I prefer to not have a wrench bashed into my skull, thank you very much!"

**TADA!**


	14. 40 through 42

**Hey! So, I sorta forgot I still had this story as well! XDDD So, here's a long awaited update!**

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**40. Grabbling Hook**

When Winry installed into the palm of his automail arm, he decided to get back at the Colonel for a previous insult and that's why he found himself on the roof with everything calculated and the grabbling hook tied to the roof.

One thing he didn't plan for was the window being locked, and the reinforced/shatterproof glass.

_-BOOM-_

"What the hell? …..Is that Fullmetal plastered to my window?"

"I believe it is sir. Perhaps you should let him in before his body peels off the side of the building."

**41. Karaoke Machine**

This device was something that Winry installed under an oath of secrecy. However, when Havoc had to pick up Edward because the teen was late, he opened the door of the hotel room to find the blond singing 'Somebody to Love' in an octave that he didn't expect out of the boy.

"This…isn't what it looks like!"

**42. Pocketknife**

Winry just didn't know what to do with her idiotic friend. She was called by Lieutenant Hawkeye to do with this message: 'Please come to Headquarters. Edward seems to have…had an 'issue' with his automail'.

She was thinking of just letting Edward try and hop on one leg and have one arm with all of the chaos he seemed to be doing with her wonderful creation.

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**How was that?**


	15. 43 through 45

**Hey guys! I'm trying to update as many fics as possible! XD That includes some of the ones I've been putting off! XD Yay!**

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**43. Snow maker**

After hooking his leg up to the fire hydrant, attaching the cord between his arm and leg, half of the city was covered in a white blanket of new snow. The other half happened to be dry, hot, and covered in dying grass.

After seeing the winter wonderland, officials escorted the Fullmetal Alchemist to the other side of the city to work his magic. However, he was then dubbed 'Susie Snowflake'.

Needless to say, he was not pleased in the long run.

**44. Light strand shooter**

After this festive addition to his automail, Edward was paid for every house that he put holiday lights on. All in all, he had a large fortune after decorating all of central, including headquarters.

**45. Deep Fryer**

"So Fullmetal; do you have your…okay. What are you cooking this time? I can smell the grease."

"For your information Colonel, I am going to be enjoying my French fries soon and if you want any, then you will be giving me info about the stone."

"Hmmmm…..do you have any ketchup, if so then it's a deal."

"Winry is installing that in a few minutes so yes, there is ketchup."

"Deal."

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**Hey! =D I wish Edward would decorate my house. XD**


	16. 46 through 48

**Hey everybody! I'm sorry it took so long! I forgot about this story…sorry! XD**

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**46. TV Remote**

"WHY CAN'T I FIND THE TV THAT THIS REMOTE BELONGS TO!"

It seemed that it was a bit of a bad idea

**47. Whip cream dispenser**

Havoc, Breda, and Mustang would not give Edward a break about the device that left Edward sputtering and red faced.

"So, is that for your girlfriend Edward?"

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! JUST MY MECHANIC!"

"So you're getting it on with your mechanic! Good job boss!"

"UGH!"

"Save your frustrations for when you need the whipped cream and your girl around Fullmetal."

"THIS IS WHY I DESPISE THIS PLACE."

**48. Invisibility machine**

This device helped out in missions…and in booby-trapping Mustang's office and Breda and Havocs' desks. They would regret messing with him, especially when their desks exploded in a whipped cream bomb.

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**Heheh… I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this or not! Let me know in a review!**


	17. 49 through 51

**I'm back with another chapter! =D Who's happy?**

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**49. Flute**

Winry decided that while Edward a genius, he needed some culture as well. With this installed into his automail, he was instructed to practice and be able to play at least 20 songs before she would let him into the house and feed him the next time he visited.

Guess who was stuck out of the house when he neglected to practice?

**50. Grenade Launcher**

His codename was FMRPG and was very useful on days where it was extremely boring and he was 'asleep' AKA knocked out so they could launch grenades at the other buildings while they fired back. However, it was more like fruits instead of grenades and Edward was beyond confused when he woke up to see Roy clutching his arm while pointing it out the window while shouting: "TAKE THAT SOUTH BUILDING SCUM!"

**51. Shovel**

In the legendary fruit war on Central, this tool was deemed helpful when Edward wasn't building forts and shelters from the pelting watermelons and cantaloupes coming their way. He finally found use in his flute by being the flute boy for the East building's central forces against their enemies of the South building being led by Hughes and his army of soldiers stocked up with grapes, oranges, and kiwis. Thankfully, the North building teamed up with them and the West building was undecided at that current moment. All they could make out were the fruit kabobs being shot at them followed by watermelon cannon fire.

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**I have no idea where number 51 came from XD If anyone wants to make a mini fic out of that, I give you props! XDDDDDDD**


	18. 52 through 54

**I'm in summer break mode! =D**

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**52. Portable Emo Corner**

With the push of a button, Edward can have a corner ANYWHERE to sulk in! Now you can own one too for only $19.99! Call to 1-800-SHRIMP to purchase yours today! Winry Rockbell is standing by! Call right now and receive a kitten with every purchase from Alphonse Elric himself!

Please note: This offer is not valid outside Amestris and only applies to State Alchemists. Pocket watches will be inspected at delivery.

**53. Fishing pole**

It didn't work that well when the fish ended up dragging Edward into the water as it got away. It took all of Mustang's crew to pull him back on the boat.

"I guess this vacation is different! We're going shrimp fishing!"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

**54. Crowbar**

For all of his night-sneaking needs. Used for places such as: Lab 5, the creepy old house at the end of the block, the weird house shaped like a pineapple; the list goes on and on.

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**Yes, I did just put that reference in there. XD And 52 is a long running joke between my friends and I**


	19. 55 through 57

**Hey guys! I saw Harry Potter 7 pt 2 on opening day! =D They inspired this set! =D**

**55. A Wand**

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"I shall be supreme ruler using this!"

"I thought you were against magic, saying science was the only logical option, brother!"

"That was before I gained the elder wand Alphonse! NOW I SHALL BE ALL POWERFUL SINCE I STOLE IT FROM THAT POTTER KID!"

_"…you worry me sometimes brother…"_

**56. Popcorn maker**

Perfect for a movie marathon, sporting event, or life changing event that you've ever wished you had popcorn for…just to say that you did.

Winry made it happen.

Edward literally did it to make it happen.

Until his arm was confiscated by the movie theater for bringing in food.

**57. A quick change costume holder**

"Fullmetal, why are you dressed like a yellow bear in a red shirt with a pot of honey?"

"HE'S ONTO US! RUN AL!"

_-both run away-_

"Hawkeye, was Alphonse wearing a blue-ish purple donkey costume without a tail?"

"He was sir."

"…what the hell goes on around here?"

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**I was also very excited for the Winnie the Pooh movie. Edward and Alphonse were too. =3**


	20. 58 through 60

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, but school started on this past Thursday for me and I got my inspiration back! =D**

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**58. Laser Pointer**

Alphonse thought it was a little odd for Ed to let him actually take care of a cat for a few days. He found out why after stopping at the store to get groceries and milk for the cat.

"Is that a laser pointer in your finger?"

"…yes?"

And so, they amused themselves watching the amused and confused kitten chase after the laser pointer across the room.

**59. Umbrella**

It worked pretty well until the winds picked up…

And dragged him across Central.

"WHY WON'T THIS CLOSE?"

"Wait up brother! I can almost catch you!"

**60. Slinky Dispenser**

All he had to do was put scrap metal into the compartment and press the button after closing the lid. Then it was melted down, drained into the mold, and the newly made slinky would drop out of his palm.

And that is how over a thousand slinkys filled HQ and no one could get down the stairs or around through the hallways.

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**Yeah…I would totally do the laser pointer thing…**


	21. 61 through 63

**Hey guys! Happy FMA day~**

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**61. Jackhammer**

Edward wanted an easy way to make renovations around the Rockbell household however he made a promise to Winry to not use alchemy this time around. It was slow going at first until Winry decided to give him an automail upgrade to help him out.

"This…is…AWESOME!"

"Ed! Focus! Or you're going to…crash into the wall and take it down…like you just did…"

Eventually, she did let him use alchemy.

**62. Hot Air Balloon Burner**

Edward decided to make this installation himself when he wanted to surprise Winry with a romantic surprise using a hot air balloon he transmuted himself and using his automail to power it.

After first being hit for messing with her automail design, she fully appreciated the gesture.

**63. Silly String Canister**

It certainly came in handy at the office when Hawkeye disappeared for an afternoon off and an office war commenced. Edward prided himself as being the victor by nailing each of his opponents in the head at least once with silly string and was covered by his allies when he had to switch out cans to refill his ammo.

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**That good? =P**


	22. 64 through 66

**I shall update this whenever I either have time (rarely) or I have a great idea XD**

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**64. GPS**

Winry pretty much forced this onto Ed's arm after they got lost for the twelfth time and ended up in a desert. Ed's pride wouldn't let him take it on his own so she forced it upon him...where his pointer finger moves on it's own when the GPS is in use and flashes a blinking light.

"What the hell?"

"Well Brother, you have to admit that we haven't gotten lost at all."

"My finger blinks, Alphonse. It. Blinks."

**65. Video Camera**

He ended using the camera to stalk down Mustang for about a week to make a nature documentary and was undetected and his work was never discovered until Central's annual Film Festival where the movie was edited by Edward and dubbed by a friend from home so the true maker of the film was never revealed to the pissed off Colonel who set off on a personal search and destroy mission.

"How the hell did they get in my house?"

**65. Robot**

This was more for Winry's fun that Edward's gain, but Ed's hand could detach from the rest of his arm and become self-functional and respond to commands while walking around using the fingers. Edward soon found the fun in it as well to help him pull pranks on unsuspecting victims and get out of jail or bonds faster and easier.

"Winry, this has to be one of your better additions!"

"Thanks! I-wait. ARE YOU SAYING THE OTHER ONES AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH?"

"Wait-wait! no! OWWWWWWWW!"


	23. 67 through 69

**Hey guys! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while but I had a lack of inspiration due to writing ALL the time thanks to school (creative writing class, you are both the savior and bane of my existence!) But I was laying in my bed last night after getting a review last night for this story and I suddenly got inspiration and grabbed my phone and emailed myself a list of random objects I thought up on the spot for this story.**

**I came up with 91 objects. :P**

**Let the updates begin!**

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**67. Solar Panels**

There came a time where the automail connected to his nerve endings worked, but didn't have enough power. This is where the new 'green' technology came into play.

"Winry, you know when they meant green, they didn't mean actually green. It means it's good for the environment."

"Ha-ha, yeah! I knew that! Sure…."

**68. Fan**

This was attempt #2 after the solar panels didn't work. Winry forgot that Edward completely hid his automail underneath his clothing therefore she turned to wind energy.

"Are you sure this is completely safe?"

"Nope, but you're the perfect test dummy!"

"Winnrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! HELP IT'S MAKING ME AIRBORNE BECAUSE OF THE STORM!"

"SORRY…DO YOU THINK 8 OF THEM WERE TOO MUCH?"

**69. Drinking Fountain/Water pressurizer**

"So Edward, since the solar panels and wind turbines didn't work I have a new solution!"

"Will it kill me?"

"No."

"Will it maim me?"

"Not any further than what you are now."

"Is it embarrassing?"

"Not really."

"Fine: what is it?"

"It's a hydro-electric model! You put water in and the constantly moving water pushes a panel that makes electricity! Plus, if you're desperate then you can use it as a drinking fountain! Hah! What do you think?"

"This is going to electrocute me, right?"

"Most likely."

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**And now I will update like crazy for the next…30 chapters.**


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